Author: Kelly McCullough

Kelly McCullough writes fantasy, science fiction, and books for kids of varying ages. He lives in Wisconsin with his physics professor wife and a small herd of cats. His novels include Numismancer, Winter of Discontent, the WebMage and Fallen Blade series — Penguin/ACE, School for Sidekicks, Magic, Madness, and Mischief, and Spirits, Spells, and Snark — Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan. His short fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. He has Patreon and Ko-fi pages for those who are interested in supporting his work more directly. He also dabbles in science fiction as science education with The Chronicles of the Wandering Star — part of an NSF-funded science curriculum — and the science comic Hanny & the Mystery of the Voorwerp, which he co-authored and co-edited — funding provided by NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope. Kelly on Twitter, Facebook, G+, ello

Monday Meows

I finded a rafter!

I like rafters!

Not this again.

What the hell are you all on about?

Wait, I’ve never seen that cat before in my life.

Are my thumb-monkeys seeing other cats?!

It’s not just cats, mate.

I’m so disillusioned!

There there, lil, buddy, it’ll be all right.

You will rise from the ashes of disappointment like melon phoenix!

What in the name of all that is fuzzy is that?!

Melon phoenix, duh!

Okay, I’m out. Yeah, me too.

Monday Meows Cat Blogging

Dude, didn’t we used to be a 4 cat family? Where’s what’s-her-name?

On my iPad, obviously. Some of us are expanding our horizons.

Ooh, that’s COSMIC!

Have you ever really looked at your whiskers? Now, that’s COSMIC.
Wait, do I have something on my face?

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Inorite?! Brothers are SO embarrassing.

I think you’re ALL embarrassing.

I’z not embas…baroom…barso…that WORD! I iz a delight! So there!

Monday Meows Cat Blogging

We shall be like two sheep that pass in the night!

I think that’s supposed to be “ships”.

No, don’t stop them it’s like watching a train wreck.

More of a ship wreck, don’t you think?

Sheep wreck? Think of all that wool! And the static!

It’s all right, buddy, I won’t let the baaaaad sheep hurt you.

Swear to Bast it’s like watching a pair of mittens trying to think.

Monday Meows

Is this psychedelic, or is it just me and the mushrooms?

Dude, step away from the hallucinogens

I don’t think it’s just him…

Guys, it’s definitely not not real…I think.

Halp, I’m trapped in someone else’s hallucination!

It’s just a big fabric thingie. Chill. Have a drink and…what’s that?!

A big fabric thingie, duh!

Oh, hell no!

Why? I think I’m in love…

Monday Meows Cat Blogging

Fiends, morons, contrarymen, I come to salad Caesar not to braise him

I love this speech!

The devil batmen livers are far from home;

The goal is oft scored with their bones;

Let the poor Bard rest in peace, dude.

So lettuce eat with Caesar. The noble butters

Hath told you Caesar was delicious:

I can’t take any more, I’m going over the wall, man.

Fly you fools!

If it were salad, it was the grooviest food,

And grooviously hath Caesar saladed it.

Oh, death, where is thy sweet sting?

Hey, if I mount the rostra, will I be inspired too?

I’m afraid not little buddy, alas. It takes true inspiration to emote.

Bummer.

Monday Meows

I’m busting us out of here. Cue the Mission Impossible Theme.

Duh-duh-duhna! Duh-duh-duhna!

Daring traverse sequence!

Duhna-na! Duhna-na!

Okay, moving on to the next dramatic posed shot.

Uhm, guys, I thought you liked it there…

He’s got a point.

Shut up, I’m heroing!

Actually now that he mentions it…

Yeah, my brother’s got a point.

Always.

Look, I’m going to…there’s screen up here too. Little help, guys?

Hush…I’m Batman!

Monday Meows

What’s that? Okay, I do it!

I’m touching your head!

This isn’t going to end well.

Naw, he’s got dis in bag. With me. I think…

Exactly, the boot told me to do it.

Dis too.

I’ll boot you!

Is okay, I still love you!

Monday Meows

Wait, was that the Shakespeare Signal!

To entertain these fair well-spoken days,

I am determined to prove a villain

Ooh, I know dis one!

Now is the waiter of our disco tent reindeered glorious jerky!

That boy ain’t right.

Hey, now, my brother is as right as me.

We’re all fine here! FINE!

HEY GURL

I was just leaving!

Excellent, now back to the chase!

Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous…

Oh ghods, wake me when it’s over.

Never reject your own story

(Not sure why but this post from the reblogging project seems to have vanished)

I was having an online conversation today that made me reiterate one of the fundamental rules of selling your fiction—Never reject your own story. That’s the editor’s job. Too many times a writer will look at a story and decide one of three things:

A, this is a disaster and I can’t send it out.

B, this story isn’t the right sort of story for ________ (fill in the high end market of your choice).

C, this story is perfect for __________ (fill in the low end market of your choice).

In all three cases, the story never makes it to whatever is the writer’s dream market, thus guaranteeing that it will never be published there. But, for the cost of postage and a little time the writer could give the editor the chance to do the job of rejecting the story if it doesn’t work for them, or maybe, just maybe, buying that story.

Look at it this way:

When a writer pre-jects a story for an editor:
—The worst case scenario is that they don’t sell to dream market x.
—The best case scenario is also that they don’t sell to dream market x.

When a writer lets the editor make the decision:
—The worst case scenario is that they don’t sell to dream market x.
—The best case scenario is that they do sell to dream market x.

Never reject your own story.

(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog September 10 2006, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)