*Shaking head* Dragon said through a mouthful of drool. This won’t end well.

Rainy day. Napping. Sent dragon for fishes. Very useful pet, though I wish dragon would stop trying to groom me. Knight-breath is gross.

So I say to the dragon, “You’ve been chasing unicorns again.” D says, “Have not.” I say, “Then why the dried rainbow on your snout?” D says, “…”

Purple sparklys and woozy? Sigh. Lie down, and next time try to remember that inhaling is an important part of talking, ya big dummy.

What makes a noise like 6 armored knights on a giant hamster wheel? A snoring dragon on a metallic hoard. Dragon + nap + sparklys = OMG!

Dragon brought home a knight’s horse and is now using fire breath to melt gold into a horn mold he dug in the cave floor and mumbling about presentation. Sigh.

Package arrived today—ACME fairy unicorn princess dress, size extra small. Wrapped it in bacon and let dragon ated it. Heh.

Am seeing a world of possibilities in Dragon becoming a local politician. Eat the right folk and we can rule the forest! Bwa-ha-ha! Steel claws in a velvet paw anyone?

Teaching dragon benefits of napping. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

My pet dragon just bought a leather biker jacket. Soooo cute. Am thinking of using it to make a couch.

Thinking I need a better pet. There I am having a little quiet me time in the litterbox when my big stupid lizard sneezes fire everywhere. It sounded like a flock of exploding geese. Still fluffy. Stupid lizard.

Twas the night before catmas and all through the wood

My pet dragon was a-stalking and up to no good

Hunting that stupid old unicorn and plotting its end

He had him a plan did my big lizard friend…

But the pointy-face horse is a wily old beast

And dragon is headed for famine not feast

Sneaky and snooty, with skin like thick leather

It sparkles so white, and hides in the weather

I’d just settled my bones for a long winter’s nap

still very much missing one silly dragon’s lap

When out in the woods there arose such a clatter

That I nearly rose to see what was the matter

Got my pet dragon a mirror, so next time the bloody great lizard wants to complain about Cthulhumas with the relatives, it can talk to someone who cares.

I’ll Update When I’m Damned Good And Ready

Dragon Diaries Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven. Also, Unicorn Diaries and Dragon’s Cat