Dragon Diaries Part Five

Got letter from aunt Kayath in Londonium, inviting me for a visit. Said yes, of course. Always wanted to travel. Great opportunity to meet new and different sorts of people and see how they taste!

Visiting aunt Kayeth. Went to Londonium bridge today. Ated troll underneath. Was told it was local delicacy. Not seeing it.

Just flew home from Londonium, and seriously dragon-lagged. Happy to be sleeping on my own hoard. Sparkly, sparkly, sparkzzzzzzzzzzz…

Cat told me it was SPRING! and went bouncing out the door looking for birdies. Then: Horrible Shriek. Came back covered in snow. Wake me in June. Zzzzzzz…

Just chatting with elf neighbor about awful snow in May weather. He said it could be worse. I ated him with extreme prejudice.

Woke up from dream about ateding a Tiamat’s Witness to find one knocking on door. Did logical thing. Ated him and went back to bed. Hoping to dream about entire troop of trollscouts…wearing chocolate.

Feeling very piraty today, put on eyepatch and ated a frigate and three jolly boats. Delicious and nautical!

Timat’s witnesses at door. Started their spiel. BAM! The ground opens up underneath them and they’re sucked down into the Earth. May 21 = Best day ever!

Flying over forest and spied bridal party. Elvish maidens in sequins! Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! Horde them? Ated them? Tough call…

Apparently it is election season. Several politicians have knocked on my door recently. Ated them. You’re welcome.

Woke up to find knight errant banging on door and demanding I come out and face him. Toasted and ated him. Self-delivering midnight snack FTW!

Stupid knights. Always give me heartburn if I don’t peel ’em before ateding ’em, but the shells are so deliciously crunchy.

Having a back to basics week. Going on a maiden fast—fresh squeezed only, and no solid food i.e. knights for seven days.

More back to basics. Going to do the dragon equivalent of yoga now—hoard sitting. My mantra: Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Already tired of fresh squeezed maidens. Did I really agree to do this for a whole week? Stupid diets.

A whole troupe of Cthulhu’s Witnesses came to door today, but am on stupid maidens only diet so I couldn’t ated them. Repeatedly smacking head on wall now.

Another day another sixpack of maidens. My cat says the diet is making me crazy and I should eat what I want. I love my cat.

Woke up with cat asleep on head. Cat still there ten hours later. Guess I didn’t need to do anything today anyway. Upside, no diet today.

Woohoo, fresh squeezed maiden diet is over! I’m going out to Flamers and ordering an entire bucket of hot knights with a side of dwarf-kebabs, and sushi boat for cat.

Ran into a trollscout jamboree on way home from my dinner at Flamers. Must have been two hundred of the little beggers. I can’t believe I ated the whole thing…

Was reminded this morning that when dragons get heartburn it’s heartBURN. Belched a seventy foot pillar of flame and made cat go all fluffy. Sorry cat. Stupid trollscouts.

The Cthulhu’s witnesses came back! They were delicious. Please send more cultists.

Cat found little man with fuzzy feet sneaking in by back door. I ated him. Tasted like pipe weed and ponies. Bleah.

Now that’s more like it! Little furry feet had 13 dwarf friends come looking for him. Ated the lot. I do love fresh toasted dwarves.

Angry man with long white beard and pointy hat showed up and started shaking staff at me and yelling about dwarves and furry-feet. Was immune to toasting, but I ated him anyway. Not sitting very well.

Bleah. The old man with the pointed hat and beard is really not sitting well. Maybe shouldn’t have ated staff. Cat says it’s my own fault for meddling in the affairs of wizards. Stupid cat.

Just passed a wizard. My advice: Do not, under any circumstance, ated one. Seriously NOT sparkly.

Have a real hankering for dwarves. Apparently, you can’t eat just 13.

Hatching day! Great Aunt Kayeth sent a knights & maidens marble cake. I lit all the torches in one breath, so I get my wish.

Morning came on little cat feet…walking on my face—pointy little cat feet. Stab, stab, stab. Hello morning, I bet you want to be fed.

Twenty-two tons of giant firebreathing lizard in servitude to eight pounds of feline attitude. How does that happen? Sigh. Better feed cat…now.

Zzzzzz, whaza? Napping, why do you ask? Why so long? Sleeping off ateding entire tournament. Knights, horses, spectators, pells, rails, benches…everything! Yum!

Dragon’s day-planner for Friday: Noon—wake up. Hunt up maiden to use for bait. Tie maiden-fly. Fish for knights. Catch knight. Ate knight. Fish more. Ate more. Nap on treasure…

Dragon’s day-planner for Saturday. Noon, get up. Go for a fly-around. Look for dwarves. Dwarf nests always have sparklies. Sparkly! sparkly! sparkly!

Dragon Diaries Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven. Also, Unicorn Diaries and Dragon’s Cat