Dragon Diaries Part One

Hatched today. A nice man was waiting for me with harness and food. He wanted to be my friend. I said yes. Then I ated him.

Alternatively. I am a pretty gold dragon. I hatched today. Girl was waiting. Told her my name was Henth. Then I ated her.

I went to the barn. There were many animals. I ated them. Except the cat. I only tasted the cat. I did not ated it. Good cat.

After I finished ating the barn animals I brought the cat in to sleep on my pillow. We will dream of fishies and ated them.

Met a knight today. He tried to poke me with sharp stick. I didn’t let him. I did not ated him. How do you shuck a knight?

Got note from great aunt Kayath about knights. Came with churchkey. Opened knight and ated him. Prefer fresh to tinned meat.

Am going looking for a princess. Have heard they make great ateding. Will bring cat for company.

No princess yet 🙁 I did find several walruses. I ated them, but they weren’t very good. Cat says we should find fishes.

Made cat sack from walrus. Cat didn’t seem very appreciative. Saw, gnomes? Yes, gnomes—a six pack. Ated them. Gnom gnom gnom.

Saw a knight on a horse but couldn’t catch it. Hungry. Tasted cat again this morning just in case. Still not going to ated it

Found large pile of oily black rock. Ated it. Belched fire for six hours. Bad heartburn. Yet, have strange craving for more.

I don’t get what the big deal is about dragons and gold. I mean sure its all…sparkly. But that doesn’t…really sparkly. Spar—

Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! What’s that kitty? I said that already? Really? Sorry…deep breaths. In, out, in, out…sparkly?

Cat points out that there is no gold here. Sigh. Maybe later. In the meantime, ated mime. Worse heartburn than black rock.

Not sure about ateding mimes. Too much gas later—silent but deadly. On the other claw, it’s one box they’ll never get out of.

Found princess and have set her out front as knight-bait. No more mime-indigestion. Thinking of collecting shields. Sparkly.

Princess is working. Have landed first knight and ated him. I was hungry so just roasted. Will think about a glaze next time.

Mellow day, slow-roasted knight with garlic at joints. Cat says it’s my best effort yet. Ated a couple of goblins too.

Found 5 gold coins in knight’s saddlebags and put them on pillow. Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! Going to bed now.

Stayed in bed today. Cat says it was so I could look at SPARKLY gold on pillow. I say I’z just tired. Oh, and I ated a troll.

Troll left me feeling a need to clean out the digestive system. Ate more black rock. Flaming troll belches…yech. Still, fire!

Having trouble sleeping because my back was very itchy. Asked cat to scratch it and shed some skin. Turns out I have wings!

So far wings do not equal flying. Wings equal falling less fast. On the upside, landed on a gryphon and ated it. Most yummy!

Still not flying. I hope these wings aren’t just decorative. I like being pretty as much as the next dragon, but want to fly! How else am I going to ated more gryphons? Or hippogryphs? Oh, and I want to try Roc too. Cat says birdies are ated heaven.

Cat says that dragons don’t really fly with their wings, they fly with their minds. Confused. How do you flap your mind?

Tried cat’s suggestion about flying with my mind. What’s the sound of one mind flapping? It’s “Aieeee—thud.” Stupid cat.

Rainy day. No flying. Ated a knight, two squires, four horses and a page. Napping now. Zzzzzzzz.

Said to cat “If cat so smart/ let cat fly with mind. What the sound of one cat flapping? “Buzzzip, buzzip—we can fly, we just don’t.” Stupid cat.

Cat says if I bring home big fishies, cat will teach me to fly with my mind. Still think it would be easier to just use wings.

Woke up hungry from flying attempts. Ated princess. Better than mime, but not as good as knight. Need to find new knight bait.

Monk came by to talk about evils of ateding thinking beings. Lots to ponder there. BTW, monk tastes better than knight.

Brought cat fishes to teach me flying. Said I had to put my mind in opposition to the ground. Still not flying. Stupid cat.

Okay, maybe cat not so stupid after all. Mind in opposition to ground plus flapping wings really hard is working. Flew after a feathered serpent and ated it.

BTW, flying snake tastes …like chicken…. Only more feathers to get caught in your teeth. Ptui.

Hungry, check. Want sparklys, check. Need a new princess, check. Flying, check. Time to find a castle. Cat agrees. Sparklys!

Found a pretty castle full of happy singing people. Tried to ated them, but they were plastic. Ptui. Cat says: Stupid Disney.

Tried another castle. Downside, everyone ran away so I only ated 2 knights. Upside, they left their sparklys. Yay sparklys!

Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly gold and sparkly silver. Sparkly jewelry and sparkly gems Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! Whee!

Not sure why, but cat’s been muttering about dragon-nip and attention span since we brought the sparklys home. Silly ca—Ooh…Sparkly! Sparkly Sparkly!

Cat says that gold doesn’t exist until you count it. One-two-three-Sparkly. No. One-two-three-Sparkly. Damn it! One-two-three-Spa-argh! Stupid cat.

Five-hundred-and-twen-sparkly. Argh! OK, that’s it, going to ated the stupid cat… And…sigh, nope. Still tastes like friend. Sorry cat.

Tasted cat again this morning. Same result as last two time. Couldn’t ated something that tastes like friend. Off to find Baron now. Cat says they’re like knights, but with more marbling. Have high hopes.

Found Baron hiding in castle smokehouse and ated him. Now know Cat was right, Baron good. Also now know bacon better! Bacon!

Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Cat said: Bacon, baron, tomayto, tomahto. I replied: Screw the tomatoes and the lettuce! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!

Stoking up my tummy with shiny black rocks and mesquite chips for experiment in smoking fresh caught barons. Hard not to ated them now!

Minuses: Owe cat apology-fishes for near perforation. Ambushed by sheriff and troop of archers today. Pluses: Tasty tasty archers.

Saw horse with horn on face, tried to ated it. Now covered in sticky rainbow and cat laughing at me. Stupid cat. Stupid pointy-face horse.

Saw pointy-face horse again. Cat suggested hunt to learn habit first, ated later. Followed to beauty shop. Took next chair. Now have pink claws, argh! Pink. Claws. !?! Stupid beauty shop. Stupid pointy face horse. Stupid cat.

Had to burn nail-polish off with fire-breath. Ignoring pointy-face horse in future, no matter how very very tasty it looks. Really!

Coldwetmiserable out. Wanted to sleep in but too hungry. Tasted cat again. Still tastes like friend. Also just not enough there to bother ateding. Agreed to go get fishes. Wet anyway plus felt guilty.

Saw pointy-face horse again. Still looked delicious, but I promised cat. Found knight instead. Ated him, but only for horse. Do I have a problem?

Bumped into pointy-face horse while casually lurking in forest near beauty shop. Did not ated for cat’s sake. Also, pointy-face horse is fast!

Couldn’t figure out why I can’t stop thinking about ateding pointy-face horse till cat said unicorn sparkly. Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! Then cat sighed.

Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! Want sparkly! Sparkly gold! Sparkly gems! Sparkly jewelry! Less sure about sparkly pointy-face.

Was going to hunt sparklys but rolled on back to scratch wings and cat curled up on chest and started purring. Can’t move now. Cat sleeping. Shhh.

Ated merchant and took his sparklys. Ated his horses too. All white like pointy-face. Pretty things. If only they had horns…

Dragon Diaries Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven. Also, Unicorn Diaries and Dragon’s Cat