Kelly McCullough

Dis cat bed is kind of pointy and uncomfortable. I’z confuzzed.

I can’t believe he’s my brother.

Really?

Really.

Me and the evils I hang with are judging you.

Always remember dance like wherever you goes there you iz!

Adopted. I swear.

Our love is a sacred thing.

Pretty sure that’s a rock.

Nope. This is a rock. A big ‘un too.

I don’t thin there were any cats in that picture at all.

I’m calling a meeting of the Committee for Feline Domination.

Sorry, napping. Can’t come.

I smell betrayal.

Nope. Naps take precedence. It’s in the charter, dude.

 

Hey gurl…

No, dude. It’s, “hey girl…” in a completely non-awkward way, like this.

Yeah, that’s not awkward at _all_.

Nope. This. This is awkward.

So is this.

Yep. Totally awkward.

………..You got that right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I see what you’re doing down there.

We weren’t doing nothing.

Sure, I believe you.

Do you believe them?

I think not.

I don’t even know what we’re supposed to have done…

Nothing. No Reason. Certainly not this.

Have you ever really looked at your wrists?

 

 

 

I did it, and I’m glad I did it, see.

Backing away slowly…

It’s mesmerizing…

Amateurs.

Inorite?

We interupts dis program for defffs from avbove!

Dude, learn to spell.

That’s going to happen.

Time for post-defffs from avbove! napage.

Monkey Hammock!

Because that’s not disturbing at all.

I know I won’t be unseeing it any time soon.

Unseeing what now?

M o n k e y H a m m o c k! Does no one pay attention around here?

Okay, that is a bit off.

So was the Hindenburg.

Oh the huge manatees!

What, have you been taking Jeeves lessons?

Monkey, make me a drink.

On it.

Wait, what’s with the fire?

EVIL! That’s what.

I like evil.

Me too.

It was a GOOD drink, Ima nap here on the remote.

Smell the paw…it smells like…freedom. ………Wut?

    o

 

The quarterly meeting of the committee for feline domination

The call to order.

The after-party.

And the day after the after-party.

I want in on this committee.

Planning for next quarter’s meeting.

Two marrow bones and two marrow bones and two marrow bones!

………the hell?

Cheap! For this pretty face, from day to day…
To the least stab-able of tricordered time!

I think he’s doing Shakespeare again…MacBeth, maybe?

And all our yeasty days have flighted ghouls
Away too hasty breath—out, out, brief fondle!

Think of England, think of England, think of England…

Life’s but a stalking shadow, a pre-payer
That spills and wastes his sour bourbon wage

Look, you need to just STOP.

Be heard no more: it is a tail
flicked by an idiot, full of sound and furry!
…signifying nothing.

At least you got that last part right.