Kelly McCullough

I have a fish!

OMFSM, it’s a fish!

Please to be giving me fish.

I like fish.

Give me the fish!

 

That’s not a real fish.

Wut?

Mmmmfishiszzzzzzz…and robotzzzz

Speaking of robot, I think this R2 unit has a bad motivator.

I resent that.

 

With this ceremonial sword I call our meeting to order.

Does anyone have anything to share on feline domination?

I like birbs.*

I am a birb.

More like a pterodactyl!

I could take it.

Look I are eating from feeder, like a real birb!

I think there may be something wrong with that birb.

Gosh, what was your first clue?

*birbs: https://twitter.com/Birbs4Birbs

So that whole baby shower thing is over and done, right.

Yep, no baby here. That’s Matt and Mandy cat’s prob…blessing.

Wait just one second.

Joke’s on you.

What fresh hell is this?

Better thee than me, fuzzball.

I refuse to believe you.

Believe what you want, but the McCullough cats speak truth.

Besides, I hear babies are a delight. Wake me when you sort it out.

With thanks to Matt, Mandy and Neil for guest cats and inspiration.

Monkey, why is the house all topsy turvy?

Yeah, I was kind of wondering that myself.

Wait, did you just say “baby shower”?

He did.

Does this mean someone’s bringing us a baby!?

Because, we will convene a jury and convict you on the spot.

It’s for someone else, you say?

Oh thank Bast. Stand down everyone.

Whew.

Yeah.

Relaxing…for now. But never forget I’ve got my eye on you, monkey.

 

Big Congrats to Matt and Mandy, whose cats have so often graced these pages.

 

*Swear to dog I’m going to get back on top of this at some point

Monkey, you haz fuds, why are you not giving them to me?

I bet the monkey doesn’t even like cats, not even purr Tiny Tim.

We got this; monkey, hand over the fuds and you don’t get hurt…

My monkey gave me drinxes.

All cats today courtesy of the Souk Mubarakiya, Kuwait.

Nothing, no reason, why do you ask?

They look guilty to me.

I never look guilty and butter won’t melt in my mouth.

I iz dubious.

I iz plotting my revenge.

We are also innocent of anything at all.

GROWRR!

Oh Juliet, I iz slain, woe!

Overact much, dude?

I waz riveted!

Really? Because that was one of the worst performances evar.

The Russian judge concurs. 1.2 points.*

2.4 from the forests of Norway…

*Guest cats supplied by Matt and Mandy.

You’re not my real monkey and I don’t have to listen to you.*

You’re not my real monkey and I don’t have to listen to you.

You’re my real monkey, but I’m deaf and can’t listen to you.

You’re my real monkey, and I hate that I have to listen to you.

I like listening, but I’m not going to remember it in ten seconds. Narf.

It’s too late to say you’re not my real monkey after you fed me? Bleah!

Hey there, monkey boy, do you want to listen to me?

_____________________

*extra cats courtesy of Matt and Mandy

Not part of the storyline, but 4 cats 1 room and 0 fighting! WIKTORY!

I’m bored.

I’m delicious.

I’m a leezard.

…the hell was that?

A leezard, duh. You know what a leezard is right?

Killy it!

Dammit, missed. Oh well, back to the regular program.

We are ennui brackets.

I am totally innocent of anything to do with the cabinet behind me.

I EAT YOUR HEAD

No, I asked for head skitches, not chomps. Like dis.

Fine, skritch, skritch. No we are mobius cat!