Kelly McCullough

I dreamed I didn’t have a body…

I dreamed I could make this stupid tube thing work.

Should I tell him?

It would be kind.

\

Defeated by the tube. I feel so alone.

 

Oh, water, how you do vex me! How do I kill this stuff?

Dude, chill.

Will someone sanction my forbidden love for this bag of cough drops?

What is it with you boys?

Okay, fine, I failed at water murder.

Now, I’m wondering is someone can help me start this baby up.

 

 

I feel safe.

I too feel safe.

I like feeling safes too!

I feel murdery.

I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty and witty…

I feel…moist

I feel a traffic jam coming on.

 

I’m bored.

Party! Party! Party!

Conga Line! Cat Style! Butt Sniffing! WOOO!

Who needs monkeys! We can play with the cat toy ourselves!

Actually, this is less awesome than I imagined…

Man, you taste so great…

Oh, man, I can’t believe I drank the whole bottle…

I told you, but did you listen?

Wait, there are pictures?!

 

 

Dude, I’m picturesque as fuck, take a picture quick!

You do know he’s backlit, right?

It’s a theme.

I am not backlit. I am just irritable.

Hey quick, backlit group shot! Say “mousies”!

Monkey, pick me up.

That looks like a lot of work.

Totally.

Monkey, now!

Wow, demanding much?

NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

Just let it go.

I hate you all so much.

I think I can walk on dis!

Mistakes were made.

You don’t say.

Dis supper coomfy!

I don’t even know where to start.

Don’t judge. Never judge. Sometimes a Stitch in time, and all that.

What are judge? Do it taste like toes? I like monkeys.

 

I haz a plan!

Does it involve murder?

I like murder!

Murder is okay, I guess, but getting rid of bodies is hard.

I have thoughts on that…

Nice. I’m in.

 

 

 

What do you mean you’re going to Hawaii and not taking us?

Suck it up Buttercup!

Wait, was that a…chicken?

Yeah, you want to make something of it?

Holy shit, it’s chickens everywhere.

Why all the chicken hate?

They’re cats, dude. Cats are uptight about birds.

But why, chickens are awesome! Everyone I know is a chicken.

What the everloving hell?

Just chickens doing chicken stuff, dude. Get over it.

It’s Hawaii, hang loose, catch a good wave, and ignore the chickens.

 

 

 

 

We are NOT having a meeting to decide which monkey to eat first.

So, you have nothing to worry about, human. Move along.

Nope, I’m perfectly calm, why do you ask?

Your tail appears to be overcharged.

Ima hide in here in case that thing goes off.

It’s fine. Also, this is very comfortable.

Nah, THIS is very comfortable.

All right, you might have a point there.