Author
Wait, that’s not a cat…must be because it’s Saturday.
You think you’re funny don’t you?
Two paws down for lame jokes delivered a day late.
Ouch, that’s going to leave a mark.
Yawn.
Tough audience dude, and these are cats.
They’re going to dance upon your grave for 12 months and a day.
Dreaming of Conducting A Symphony
Still Life With Beer
And Steal Everyone’s Left Shoe
I Was Here First!
(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog July 11 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)
Ahead warp factor 2.
Engaging.
These shoes would get you there faster than using an ear as a warp throttle.
What the hell, people?
Really, Stargates are much faster anyway.
Ha!
Bonus “working” with cats picture of the beautiful Laura McCullough.
Jordan and Isabelle:
Meglet (Nutmeg really):
Ashbless:
Leith:
(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog July 4 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)
More Cat Blogging from 2008
I haven’t had time to upload any cat shots so, here are the feline overlords version 1.0. Moonshadow and Spot, both of whom have left this world and both of whom I miss terribly.
(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog June 28 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)
I write full time at home with five cats who provide me with companionship and imagination insurance. I’ll discuss that in brief after a round of feline introductions. Meet my feline overlords:
‘Belle – don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because you’re not
Meglet – who is a very small animal
Ashbless – poetry in motion…Limerick
Leith – I’m old dammit, show some respect (RIP: Dec 11 2009)
Jordan – I used to be a cute kitten, now I’m a big thug
So, how is this a writing post?
Well, because pets and writers seem to go together like fire and smoke or some other equally trite pairing. Part of this is of course due to us human types being social apes. We’re wired for group interactions and pets provide people who work in solitude with the illusion of having coworkers, or a pack if you prefer.
That’s a part of it, but not the most important part, at least not for writers. For us they provide imagination insurance. What’s that you ask? Well, pretty much by definition fiction writers are endowed with overactive imaginations.
We are prone to wild flights of fancy, especially those of us who are speculative fiction types. In shadows we see ghouls and imps. Dragons hide in our garages, and trolls demand tolls when we take the laundry to the basement.
This is by and large a wonderful way to live. Except, of course, when it’s not. Like when the house settles with a horrible screech at three a.m. or when the bats start crawling about in the walls just after sundown. At those times, it’s all too easy to people the shadows with things of malign intent.
That’s where the cats come in. With five, there’s always at least one who’s out of sight somewhere. In a house with cats you don’t need to imagine what’s making that noise. You know. Any horrendous sound anywhere in the house, no matter how horrible or loud, was made by a cat. No trolls. No dragons. No axe-wielding maniacs. Just cute fuzzy creatures who can be safely ignored while you finish that paragraph.
(Originally published on SFNovelists, March 11 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)
Re: ugly development in lapsharing negotiations.
It has come to management’s attention that already today the writer-in-residence has twice had, not one, but two cats taking up valuable lap space normally devoted to the means of writerly production (see laptop, Apple iBook G4).
Further it has come to management’s attention that resolution of which cat retained possession of said lap was resolved through hissing and intimidation. Once, blows were even exchanged. This is simply not acceptable and may actually result in demonstration by writer-in-residence that despite normal dominance protocols, writer-in-residence is in fact a larger predator, one who outweighs said cats by an order of magnitude.
Please take note of the fact that despite being a Cat Softie, with a capital CS, writer-in-residence has a very limited patience for anything that involves potential bleeding, and adjust your negotiating strategies accordingly.
Thank you,
The management
(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog February 1 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)
Re: Proposed change to new lapsharing arrangements/monopolization of space normally used for writing.
It has come to management’s attention that some sort of agreement has been reached amongst the feline members of the household in re: lapsharing (the process by which writer-in-residence lap time is arranged). Said agreement seems to involve a continuous rotation of laptime amongst the four younger cats, said rotation working not unlike a relay race.
While such feline cooperation is laudable in terms of the increased level of inter-feline amicability, it does have one rather severe drawback. To whit, displacement of the laptop belonging to the writer-in-residence. Which fact, in turn, causes a significant loss in potential productivity.
For more notes on same, see attached charts. Chart one maps the difficulty of typing whilst a cat is resting her head on the writer’s wrist (Isabelle). Chart two shows reduction in productivity directly related to cats frequently licking the thumb used to manipulate the trackball (Ashbless and Nutmeg). And, of course, chart three shows the total loss of productivity caused by the repeated smashing of a cat’s forehead into the nose of the writer-in-residence (Jordan). Please contrast this with the lack of impediments to productivity caused by laying in front of the heater some yards from the writer-in-residence’s place of writing (Leith) as outlined in chart four.
Management would very much like to see more laying about near the writer-in-residence during the hours of production and less laying on the writer-in-residence during those same hours. Management proposes an increased distribution of treats and decreased amount of abruptly dropping cats off of said lap to offset lost laptime. Further, management is open to other possible compensation to be proposed by the collective.
We eagerly await your response.
All best,
Management (speaking for the writer-in-residence)
(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog January 31 2008, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)
Re: Proposed change to feline barfing schedule/cancellation of the 4:00 a.m. bathroom hallway express.
Conceded: Religious/cultural significance of barfing for feline household members. Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. Cats gotta barf.
Points of ongoing dispute unrelated to current negotiations: Comparative authority/ownership of all household assets (including human and feline members). Timing and availability of treats and other food items.
Proposed alternatives: Double barfing privileges at other times, increased snack flow, reduced death threats.
Relationship to writing: Decreased 4:00 a.m. barfing should result in increased sleeping and greater literary production, which will in turn lead to more funds available for indulgence of feline needs.
In closing: We are eagerly awaiting your response.
Thanks,
Kelly
(Originally published on the Wyrdsmiths blog Dec 20 2007, and original comments may be found there. Reposted and reedited as part of the reblogging project)