Author
I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve called you here today.
Nope.
Not even a little bit.
Face it, you’re only talking to yourself.
Don’t tell him. He still hasn’t figured mirrors out.
That’s just sad. Even I get mirrors.
They’re the ones that can’t buy drinks yet. Right?
Ahem. MiMiMi. Ahem. ME-OW.
There’s something seriously wrong with that cat.
Like, dude, that not even a cat, man. Also you’re snuggling cement.
Don’t kink shame. Now, who do I have to shiv to make the d*o*g go away?
Don’t sweat the small stuff, my dude. Go with sleep, sun, and acres of nip.
Spare “cat” courtesy of Jim and Stewart
What should we do today?
Same thing we do every day, plot to take over the world
NARF! I got this!
Do you want to explain it to him?
I’ve tried. So many many many times. Let him have it.
Goddammit, the cat melted again.
Wait, aren’t you the cat.
No. He is A cat. I am the cat.
Aren’t we full of ourselves?
Y’all are exhausting. This cat is going back to bed.
Spare cat courtesy of Kim and Jonny
When shall we three meets again? I dunno, but leave the leg at home.
But I love the leg. It’s very House of Horror.
But we’re supposed to be doing Macbeth.
Thunder, lightning and rain? Dude, we’re cats. VETO!
In hurley burley than when the battle’s lost and won!
How does that work little stone cat? Lost and won? It make no sense.
Or we could just say “screw it” and sleep in. Like…you, know, cats.
Jus chillin with my cute self. No cares, no plans.
I have a plan. It involves you.
And it is soooooo evil!
How evil is it?
It’s so evil that I refused to participate.
Holy shit!
That’s pretty evil all right.
Spare cats courtesy of Jim and Stewart and Paul and Rita
Iz dis da real thing? Or is it just fantasy?
Caught in a dish slide
No escape from reality…
Dis don’t sound like Shakespeare…
Because it’s easy come…
Easy go.
A little high, a little low…
Mama just killed a man.
Why did she do it?
Nothing really matters.
Nothing really matters?
Anyone can see.
Stuffing really matters to me!
Spare cat courtesy of Paul and Rita
I iz kitten and unspeakably cute. I make you obsolete. Fear me.
How about if I just eat you instead?
It does look kind of tender and tasty…
Cattibalism is just gross.
It really depends on how you cook them. Take this fire pit here…
Oooh may I take recipe notes?
I don’t care what any of you say, I’m not doing the peeling this time.
Spare cats courtesy of Kim and Jonny and Jim and Stewart and Paul and Rita
I haz plan and it involves delicious delicious vegetables!
There is something seriously wrong with that cat.
Maybe he was raised by wild gourds?
Now, that’s just silly.
Definitely. Everyone knows it’s cabbages that raise lost kittens.
OMNOMNOM!!!
Spare cat courtesy of Kim and Jonny
I cutes, I sleeps with fisses.
I like fisses!
Yeah, but they make your furs stink, and that’s gross!
I sleeps with my stoned buddy.
I sleeps with reckless abandon!
I sleeps, perchance to dream.
Spare cats courtesy of Kim and Jonny and Matt and Mandy